"Well... you're a bit taller aren't you?" The Dodo drawled, regarding John with a critical eye.
"Just move along Feathers why don't you?" John snapped.
"Fine," the Dodo rolled his eyes, "What do you know about all this?"
"Not a single thing-but I doubt Stu did it so you let him go."
"I'm sorry my boy, I'm afraid you don't decide what goes on in a courtroom." The Dodo rolled his eyes, turning towards the Knave of Hearts, who'd bent forward to remove his sunglasses so he could get a better look at John. John however felt his heart twist and quickly looked away.
"Well this isn't much of a court room." John snapped, "I haven't heard one thing that matches what I've seen in all those court room drama's on the TV. Where's the actual evidence? Where's the motive? Why hasn't anyone told us what he did, and when, and where?"
"I'm sorry but are you a lawyer?" the Dodo snapped impatiently.
"Are you?" John countered.
"That's not the point!"
"What is the point?" Asked Murray from the Jury box. He still looked sopping wet which John found odd.
"The point is, the Knave is guilty duh." The Lizard said beside Murray, then glanced to the Dodo who smiled in approval.
"That's enough, I think we've heard everything we need to." the Queen said, "Sentence the fool already!"
"No!" John cried, shifting uncomfortably in the Witness box, "He didn't do anything and no one can prove it, how can you sentence Stu when you can't even prove it."
"Uh, my name is Knave mate." the Knave of Hearts frowned.
"No!" John snapped, standing and now towering over everyone, "No to hell with this! You're Stu, you're Brian, you, you're that American radio bloke who wouldn't leave us alone when we were over there, and you," He turned to look behind him at the Duchess but she was no longer in her seat, "Are... gone... wow."
"For your disruption in the court room Alice," the Queen snarled, "I decree, OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"
"Leave me alone Jane," John snapped, his head bumping against the ceiling of the room. He pointed a finger in her direction and nearly took out her crown. The Queen squeaked and grabbed hold of her brother, crouching low so neither would be hit by John's gigantic fingers.
"And another thing, what the hell did I have to take to end up in a story book? And why this one? Couldn't you guys have shown up in something a bit more practical? A bit more understandable? I'm supposed to be the weird one around here not you people!"
"G-guards!" The King cried, "Seize him!"
"Seize me once and I'll squash you!" John roared before he noticed he was now no longer touching the ceiling with his head.
"Alice you are hereby banished from Wonderland!" Cried the Queen and John turned to run because the guards had grabbed their spears.
"Bye Stu!" John called behind him, "Bye mum!" He was out the door then, crouching a bit because he was still to tall for the stone halls. Now how had he gotten here? The Hare had pulled him down a hall or two but it hadn't been to intricate right? He'd been able to find his way alright... he must have.
And yet John found within minutes he was no closer to finding the door to the garden-but he was back to normal height.
"Alice!" Called a voice from down the hall.
"Where's Alice?" That voice asked from another hall.
"I can't find the Alice!" That one sounded a bit familiar... maybe...
John turned down another hall in time for a door to slam closed. Curious, John hurried to open the same door, entering a large library in time to see another door slam shut.
"Weird..." John frowned, hurrying after as the sound of running footsteps came closer and closer.
"Alice!" they shouted and John slammed the next door shut before they had a chance to enter the large library. He ran down a stone hallway, much darker and covered in broken cobwebs. A light could be seen up ahead, bobbing up and down here and there and John felt his calves burn as he hurried to catch up with it.
"Hey!" He called, panting and out of breath, "Hey! Can you help me?! They're after me too!"
The light did nothing but grow smaller as whoever was up ahead got farther and farther away.
"Hey!" John screamed and then it disappeared completely but John didn't give up running. He poured on the speed and hoped he'd be able to catch up.
"Alice!" Came the calls from behind.
"Come back Alice!"
"We have orders Alice!"
"You can't go Alice! We'll lose our own heads!"
"Oh hell..." John muttered before he crashed into a wall. His nose broken and bleeding, he felt along the wall for the way to go and found to his right was the door whoever had passed through. John was quick in the darkness to feel his way to the handle and pull it open, closing the door with a loud slam as the guards neared ever closer.
He turned to see another door hanging open-a large iron gate-like door John wondered may have led to a dungeon. Running through it, he was greeted to the sight of the Hatter and the Hare pushing the Duchess through a large open doorway.
"Well this is a nice sight!" John snapped and the three turned to stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Alice..." the Duchess said, surprised, "This is off-script for you..."
"What are you doing here John?" Hatter asked, frowning.
"Oh it's John now?" John bristled, "What the hell was that?! Did you drug me! I grew to the size of the room! And then you all disappeared on me!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" the Hare snapped, "And besides, we didn't leave you-we had more important matters to deal with."
"Oh yes, because the Queen's tarts were so important to begin with." John said dryly.
"Well... they were." the Duchess mumbled.
The Hare rolled his eyes, looking annoyed, "We don't have time to entertain the Alice anymore Hatter, Cheshire's still missing."
"I know..." Hatter sighed, "And we can't let him get away and the guards will undoubtedly be here any minute." He tapped a finger to his chin before a light seemed to spark in his eyes and he pointed to John, "So Alice will just have to be the distraction!"
"What? No!" John cried but they weren't listening because the Hare swung a fist and it connected with John's jaw. John reeled to the side and was left vulnerable for when the Hatter pushed him back onto his back.
"Sorry Alice, but we can't let Chess get away with what he did."
"Wha-agh!" John coughed as the Hatter's boot connected with his gut.
"Alright that's enough!" the Duchess cried, pulling the two away from John, "We don't have time for this now-take it out on Chess when we find him."
"Right..." the Hatter bristled, "You can be sure I will." And just like that the three disappeared as the door burst open and a number of guards descended on John.
"We found Alice!"
"We found you, Alice!"
"Hold still Alice!"
"Careful Alice, don't bleed on the stones!"
John flew forwards in a panic and nearly took out the coffee table as Cynthia Lennon stood above him holding a bag of groceries and
Julian ran past laughing with some toy in his hand.
"Not my head! Oh... wha?" John frowned looking around.
"Are you alright?" Cynthia asked, looking a bit frightened as John dragged himself back into his chair, "You were muttering something awful." She felt his forehead before he swatted her hand away and she sighed, "Was it a bad trip?"
"The acid?" Cynthia said plainly, "You have a bad trip?"
"Oh... no..." John coughed as he shook his head, "Just a really... weird dream is all."
"Probably a sign you need some actual sleep in an actual bed." Cynthia grinned, turning to disappear inside the kitchen.
"What's the difference?" John muttered as he got up to follow her for a pot of coffee.
"Anyway," Cynthia said as she and the maid unloaded the groceries onto the counter, "Next time you decide to have a nap make sure you don't have guests over."
"What?" John frowned, turning to watch them.
"George came through as I was coming in the door-said you'd passed out in the sitting room and he was just gonna go." Cynthia said before turning to John, "Are you sure you two didn't smoke anything? He seemed a bit high when he left, and his hair was messed up! What did you do? Try to give him cat ears?"
"Wow..." John nodded, "No... no I didn't touch him." That was odd, John didn't remember inviting George over-and besides, wasn't he visiting his parents today anyway?
And at that moment John could have sworn he saw a dark, furry cat dart past the open back door and into the garden.